*cough* the voices told me to ...

turns out

i beat y'all



EIGHTY SEVEN PERCENT INSANE


bite me
or rather, dont.
=D

Lilium.

Os iusti,
The mouth of the just,
Meditabitur, Sapientiam,
Shall meditate wisdom,
Et lingua eius,
And his tongue
Loquetur iudicium,
Shall speak justice,
Beatus vir qui,
Blessed is he, who
Suffert tentationem,
Endures temptation,
Quanium cum, Probatus fuerit,
For when he has been tried,
Accipet coronam vitae,
He shall recieve the crown of life,
||:Kyrie, Ignis Divine, Eleison,
||:Our lord, the Divine fire, Have mercy,
O quam sancta,
O how sacred,
Quam serena,
How fair,
Quam benigna,
how kind,
Quam amoena,
How delightful,
O castitatus Lilium.:||
O lily of chastity...:||

Make of that what you will, I find it a beautiful song.

Foreshadowing.

Alas, tomorrow marks the start of my exam spree. Music listening. If i get a good score, I -could- come out with an A over all. I thought I'd never get over a B o.o
Stress is a-looming, and lots of it. I for one will revise, but not in life consuming proportions. I stand in the firm belief that without rest and relax, I will succumb to the pressure and stress of the work. Then were will I be? Some people are doing way too much revision, I mean like, the social life killing amount. The kind that prevents you from attending social meetings, like the Tuesday group swim.
It seems to me, that he/she who works but does not play becomes consumed by the drive to work, and so lapses in the social standings, making it harder to re-adjust after exams are over. However, he/she who plays but does not work becomes carefree, thinking that the examiners will not fail them. Ergo, it is important to maintain a healthy balance. How so? Maybe have group revision sessions, sleepovers, general relaxed visits to other peoples houses? Maybe a little bit of cycling and fresh air followed by guitar hero then more cycling, then losing said guitar hero owner, then spending some real quality time together? Perhaps do what I'm doing, keeping my timetable flexible to allow for such excursions?

Code Names.

Mkay, from now on, I shall use code names instead of he/she/name. The list is as follow's
One:- Usually refers to a male participant in a relationship. Used in conjunction with Other.
Other:- Usually refers to a female participant in a relationship. Used in conjunction with One.
Protagonist(A/B/C/etc..):- Usually refers to the ex of One or Other.
Unknownfactor(Z/Y/X/etc..):- Usually refers to the partner of the ex.
Bystander(A/B/C/etc..):- Refers to anyone who is not directly involved in the situation explained in the post.
Pro(A/B/C/etc..):- Usually refers to anyone on a certain side of an argument, e.g. arguing for something.
Con(A/B/C/etc..):- Usually refers to anyone on the opposite side of the argument, e.g. arguing against something.

Thats the list so far, will edit if any more come up.

Fears. coming true?

I have this friend see. and as of late, I have become increasingly worried for her mental stability.
When i first met her, she struck me as naturally confident and flambouyant. And stayed like that for a while.
But, in the past few months, I've noticed sudden increasing changes in her normal attitude. First up, her blogs are veery depressing, and she's quieter at school. Exams are looming ever closer, and has recently has been under great emotional stress relationship wise. A great weight, in any case.
But now I've grown afraid that she is beginning to buckle under the weight. Consider the shelving units. They can bear a certain amount of weight, which, if exceeded, creates stress lines and fractures before shattering and dropping all the weight with the unit itself. An odd comparison, but an accurate one nonetheless.
Once, I was in this very position. I came incredibly close to the shattering point. After that, I vowed never to allow any of my friends to fall into the same trap. I failed. Now i fear she is becoming as I once was. Withdrawn, Sorrowful, taking things the wrong way, snapping at others who interact with your lifelines. I think i may have interacted with one of hers, and now she seems to hate me. Joy. All i can say to her now is that one day, you will see things my way. You'll understand the paranoia of having someone taken away by a protective best friend.
I'm sorry you could not rely on me to act as a backup, as a friend. I'm sorry i allowed you to fall this deep. For both i can ask but one thing.

Rhian, Forgive me?

End of an Era

I'm not usually one for sentiment. Never before have i felt such sorrow upon realising i have 5 days of school. Maybe because this time it's different. This time, it won't be all normal after the summer is over. This time, when the group seperates, it will never be the same again.
I think that, though we're all adamant that the group will still be there for years 12 and 13, deep down all of us know. This is the end. After exams, the group will never be as close knit as before. Perhaps this is a mercy, as some loose ends may well be lost, and allow others to bend into the folds. Perhaps not.
For certain, I can think of a few people I want to retain a close friendship with. One in particular. My respect for him is boundless, despite his recent assaults on my neck ¬.¬
As for another, that one's a given. Of course I want to stay close to her. Perhaps forever, if time is that kind.
The others, the original group, i still wish to still know in years to come. A,mrsA,R,mrsR,L(ofc),Z,R2.
This group has good expctations. We're all going somewhere. Should we not help each other get there? Will they be willing, as I am, to stay in touch in the future, Uni years onwards, when we spread all over the country.
Thinking of that, Uni will be annoying. I'm no sucker for temptation, I know she isn't either. But distance can be heartbreaking after such closeness, physically and emotionally. I would hate to grow apart from her in the coming few years. We'll both meet new people. Maybe we'll grow to like them.
Do i like this awful truth? No. I hate it. I hate the very thought of it.

One thing's for sure

These group ties may be stretched, split, but never fully severed.

I for one will not allow it.

Fresh Start

Well. This is my new blog, for all my vents. As i've stated, the other will be a weekly updated 'journal' of sorts, where i hope to be logging all my thoughts and philosophical ideas about a certain concept into an atricle.
Enjoy.
Chapters: Book of Life
Emotions. Laid bare.